Curious about Confidence: Do You Have Enough? How Does It Help You?

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'” - Eleanor Roosevelt, American First Lady

“Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.” - Vince Lombardi, American coach

Have you ever noticed how a word starts popping up around you? Do you feel, as I do, that it brings a message with it that we need to think about and focus on.

Well, two weeks ago, Lee H. Bienstock, an Apprentice contestant spoke at a dinner I attended. He shared what it was like to get on and participate in the show. He answered many questions. The ones I found the most fascinating were what made him successful - confidence and being unique. Thinking these answers over, I realized that to be unique, we must have confidence!

Then, in a recent issue of the daily Early to Rise (ETR) e-newsletter there appeared an article by Peggy McColl (author of Your Destiny Switch - which just arrived) about confidence. She wrote, “Confidence is a belief in yourself and your abilities that delivers to you the things you want. What you desire may not come exactly when you expect it, or in the form you'd imagined, but make no mistake: Confidence is a tremendously powerful emotion that will change your vibration and bring you what you hope for.”

Finally, last night I was listening to an interview of Joe Vitale who shared that he has always wanted to be a writer. Right now, he is an incredibly successful writer of “too many books to list.” When asked how one knows what he or she wants to do with passion, Joe answered that we already know, but often lack the confidence to admit it to ourselves and then go ahead and do it.

So, I ask you, “Do you have the confidence to pursue your passion and dreams?” Fortunately, there are many experts who will help you pursue and achieve confidence.

I feel that many of the quotations I found are filled with good and useful advice:

• “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” - Norman Vincent Peale, American clergyman
• “Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well too.” - David Storey, British novelist
• “Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.” - Og Mandino, American author
• “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” - Marie Curie, Polish scientist
• “I believe that my clothes can give people a better image of themselves - that it can increase their feelings of confidence and happiness.” - Giorgio Armani, Italian designer

Then, there is a bit of a twist or a tweak:

• “Honor bespeaks worth. Confidence begets trust. Service brings satisfaction. Cooperation proves the quality of leadership.” - James Cash Penney, American businessman
• “Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” - Richard Kline, American actor
• “But I guess the lesson is this: If you don't have confidence in yourself and think that you are worth hiring, or whatever it is, you can't expect anyone else to.” - Sam Donaldson, American journalist
• “I want to work with the top people, because only they have the courage and the confidence and the risk-seeking profile that you need.” - James Joyce, Irish novelist
• “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” - Helen Keller, American author
• “There is a difference between conceit and confidence. Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.” - Johnny Unitas, American athlete

And here are two to think about and tide you over this coming week:

• “Confidence is a lot of this game or any game. If you don't think you can, you won't.” - Jerry West, American artist
• “Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.” - Diane Arbus, American photographer

Just remember that action and the implementation of your ideas will give you the confidence you need to proceed. Even when everything doesn't work out as planned, we will develop the confidence to keep on keeping on!

Curious about Negativity: How to Deal with It and Negative People. Using It to Advantage and Changing Focus

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.” - Willie Nelson, American musician

“That's my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. If it's not positive, I didn't hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy.” - George Foreman, American athlete

If you are wondering why I chose “Negativity” for this week’s blog, I also needed to think long and hard about it myself. I have always been positive and have always suggested that we avoid hanging around with negative people. BUT what if those people are part of our families? Or are co-workers? What if they are our bosses?

I have also noticed that during teleseminars - and I do attend many - that when the presenter mentions the many advantages of being positive and optimistic, listeners ask how to deal with the negative people in their lives.

Then, one of the subscribers to my e-newsletter suggested that I choose “Negativity” as a theme. You see, she has a boss who is incredibly negative about everything, all of the time. But, she enjoys the rest of her work and doesn’t want to leave. Therefore, rather than advising avoidance, as so many do, I decided to investigate more deeply.

I started with the latest book by one of my favorite motivational gurus, Jack Canfield. In his The Success Principles, he writes about negativity on several different levels. First of all, he does stress the importance of holding positive expectations, so that your brain will take over and help you accomplish them. Just as Willie Nelson stated in the opening quotation!

Canfield includes a whole section on “Feedback.” He discusses the difference between positive and negative feedback. We all like the positive feedback, but not the negative. “However, there is as much useful data in negative feedback as there is in positive feedback. It tells us that we are off course, headed in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing. That is also valuable information.”

Canfield continues to suggest three ways of responding to negative feedback that don’t work:

1. Caving in and quitting. Keeps us stuck in the same place.
2. Getting mad at the source of the feedback. Even if the feedback is useful, this pushes the person and the feedback away.
3. Ignoring the feedback. We lose out on ways that the feedback could help transform our lives.

And, then there are those who focus their attitudes and thinking on the negatives, rather than the positives. Canfield includes a section where he gives practical ways to learn to look for the positive. “Not only will it help you feel better, but it will also be a critical component of your creating the success you want.”

One of the many outstanding benefits of reading and doing that Canfield’s book outlines with complete clarity, are the practical how to steps to perform for success. I especially enjoyed learning, “how to play the Appreciation Game. Look for things to appreciate in every situation. When you actively seek the positive, you become more appreciative and optimistic, which is a requirement for creating the life of your dreams.”

Now, for a few quotations from the experts:

• “I've always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.” - James A. Baldwin, American author
• “Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash through... whatever we see a negative state, that is where we can destroy it.” - Vernon Howard, American author
• “Every positive value has its price in negative terms ... the genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima.” - Pablo Picasso, Spanish artist
• “I think there's an enormous value to being negative. The world we live in today, negativity is not permitted.” - Godfrey Reggio, American director
• “There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.” - Dave Navarro, American musician
• “We wear our hearts on our sleeves and if people come at us with negativity, our strength, our armor is that the Sword of Truth.” - Sally Kirkland, American actress
• “There must be a positive and negative in everything in the universe in order to complete a circuit or circle, without which there would be no activity, no motion.” - John McDonald, Canadian leader

And, here are three that I love and the ways I choose to live:

• “The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous.” - David Icke, English athlete
• “Just can't live that negative way ... make way for the positive day!” - Bob Marley, American musician
• “Delete the negative; accentuate the positive!” - Donna Karan, American designer

Canfield also suggests starting our days by making a list of what we are thankful and grateful for. It does help to solidify a positive and appreciative approach to life. Go to it!

Note: just remember that we can change ourselves and our attitudes, but we can’t change others. However, I feel that if the negative people in our lives see how happy and positive we are, they may try it!

Curious about Being Authentic: Authenticity Today Is Required of Everything We Do, Say, Live and/or Propose!

“That inner voice has both gentleness and clarity. So to get to authenticity, you really keep going down to the bone, to the honesty, and the inevitability of something.” - Meredith Monk, American composer

“In short, we cannot grow, we cannot achieve authentic discovery, and our eyes cannot be cleansed to the truly beautiful possibilities of life, if we simply live a neutral existence.” - Armstrong Williams, American journalist

I basically am not a skeptical person. I have always - over my many years - preferred to believe and trust those I come in contact with. And, those who have told me fantastic stories about themselves and their accomplishments. However, I notice that now I have become more skeptical and even disbelieving of hype that so easily rolls off the tongues of today.

I think it results from all of my Internet contact with a large group of so-called “gurus” who claim to make millions a month. Yes, their offers of programs that “will change your life” and your “income” are presented in such a way and by so many of the big group, you almost feel that if you don’t accept the offers, you will be the one person left out in the cold and poverty stricken.

No, I do not embrace a “neutral existence” but I still have the strong belief that by staying authentically who I am and persevering in my “Portfolio Career” and goals, I will not only be happy and love my life, but I will also succeed financially and in my ability to help others.

How authentic are you? What do the experts say about being authentic:

• “Strong efforts may be made to deny the place, to silence the authentic, but the spirit of things will break through that silence.” - John Haynes, English judge
• “Feelings or emotions are the universal language and are to be honored. They are the authentic expression of who you are at your deepest place.” - Judith Wright, Australian poet
• “The real rub is finding that authentic self and it's not something that's going to come to you overnight.” - Paul Guilfoyle, American actor
• “Authentic values are those by which a life can be lived, which can form a people that produces great deeds and thoughts.” - Allan Bloom, American philosopher
• “Without culture, and the relative freedom it implies, society, even when perfect, is but a jungle. This is why any authentic creation is a gift to the future.” - Albert Camus, French philosopher
• “The authentic self is the soul made visible.” - Sarah Ban Breathnach, American author

Artists, producers and writers are especially concerned with being authentic:

• “The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” - Ben Okri, Nigerian poet
• “There is a certain kind of respect for authenticity today that there wasn't back in the days when they did 'Cleopatra,' where everything looked like a giant motel. People want to have it be authentic in the look, and authentic in the way people behave.” - John Milius, American director
• “The aim of every authentic artist is not to conform to the history of art, but to release himself from it in order to replace it with his own history.” - Harold Rosenberg, American writer
• “When I am finishing a picture, I hold some God-made object up to it - a rock, a flower, the branch of a tree or my hand - as a final test. If the painting stands up beside a thing man cannot make, the painting is authentic. If there's a clash between the two, it's bad art.” - Marc Chagall, French artist
• “Every writer knows he is spurious; every fiction writer would rather be credible than authentic.” - John Le Carre, English writer
• “I think the audience is responding to the fact that they see I'm authentic now, that I'm just me. I'm not someone who's trying to be part of the latest trend.” - Sheena Easton, Scottish musician

A few more thoughts to leave you with:

• “And live now. Because this is all there is. And enjoy now like a child. And be your authentic self.” - Jim Carrey, Canadian comedian
• “It is possible to transcend the usual limitations of the body, ego, space, and linear time. The disappearance of spatial boundaries can lead to authentic identifications with other people, animals of different species, plant life, and inorganic materials.” - Stanislav Grof, Czechoslovakian psychologist
• “We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.” - Barbara de Angelis, American writer

Do consider your and others authenticity. Is it working for you? How many people do you know who are truly authentic? Are you? Have a great and wonderful week!

Curious about Story: Have You Defined Yours? What Influence Does Your Story Have on Your Life?

“Everyone has a story.” - Neil LaBute, American director

“There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips.” - Elsa Lanchester, American actress

I chose “Story” for this week’s theme, because I just returned from our annual, Ohio storytelling Conference. Our wonderful featured teller, Jim May, addressed our own personal stories - how we determine what they are and what they mean.

Once we know someone’s story, we can’t help but like them! (Even ourselves.)

We started by sharing the sayings and mantras that we heard in our families while growing up. Many were familiar, like, “Always do your best,” “Water seeks its own level,” and “What will the neighbors think?”

Then, Jim had us think about and answer six questions that would help reveal our story and why we believe what we do:

1. What positive mantra and/or belief have you kept from growing up in your family?
2. What negative mantra and/or belief have you left behind?
3. Your Heroic Threshold(s): Leaving your regular life behind - turns your life upside down?
4. Who has been your Mentor(s)?
5. What is the Paradox or Paradoxes in your life and direction?
6. What is your favorite meal to order in a restaurant?

Answer the above, and you will have a good idea of your own story.

What do the experts say about “Story” - a huge number of quotations to choose from:

• “So I developed very early a massive inferiority complex, and I've told the story often about how that inspired me later in life to get involved in other things, because I couldn't out-do my brothers in sports, and it's a very competitive relationship.” George J. Mitchell, American politician
• “It is an old story, this life of ours. There is nothing new under our sun. Nothing new, that is, for us, as we now feel and think.” - Josiah Royce, American philosopher
• “If people don't like us, they don't like us, but at least they have heard the story.” - Lee Scott, American businessman
• “Life is too short for a long story.” - Mary Wortley Montagu, English writer
• “Patience is the most necessary quality for business, many a man would rather you heard his story than grant his request.” - Lord Chesterfield, British statesman
• “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” - Winston Churchill, English statesman
• “Objects in pictures should so be arranged as by their very position to tell their own story.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet

A few twists and tweaks:

• “You want to say something meaningful and creative and artistic and that tells a story and that takes people someplace else.” - Sarah McLachlan, Canadian musician
• “The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.” - Jimi Hendrix, American musician
• “To save myself, I dug out that old short story from high school and spent my days losing myself in my imagination. Physically, I was working through the motions of grinding plastic, but mentally, I was far, far away. I was turning that old story into a world of my own, and a fantasy novel of my own.” - R. A. Salvatore, American author
• “You know, two people can say exactly the same words, saying the same story, and it would mean something entirely different.” - P. J. Harvey, British musician
• “Make your own decision. There's three sides to the story: his, theirs and the truth.” - Erik Estrada, American actor
• “If a man's fortune does not fit him, it is like the shoe in the story; if too large it trips him up, if too small it pinches him.” - Horace, Greek poet
• “The story of Harold Ross, the New Yorker and me is a mere footnote to the story of our time, and we might as well face the truth that to researchers of the future, poking about among the ruins of time, we shall all be tiny glitters. But then, so are diamonds.” - James Thurber, American comedian

And two thoughts I will leave you with:

“A good story never dies.” - Roberta Williams, American designer

“Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.” - Fran Lebowitz, American journalist

Have a great week!