Curious about Procrastination - The Who, Why, When and How of It

“Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.” - Alyce Cornyn-Selby

“Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.” - Christopher Parker

This past week I took part in a teleseminar which dealt with “non-violent communication.” The leader made a statement about procrastination. Then, she had us write down our feelings triggered by the statement (or “judgment”) on the left side of a piece of paper and our needs as a result of the statement and feelings on the right hand side of the paper.
What was interesting and curious to me was the negative feelings (shame, unrest, disappointment, irritation) everyone expressed were triggered by procrastination. So I thought I would investigate it a bit further.

Who procrastinates? I think we all do at one time or another - some more than others. I know several people who say they are going to change a habit or accomplish a goal, and never get started. Others start - for example, an exercise and/or nutritional program - and then quit with regularity. There are also those who attend seminars/workshops and purchase self improvement programs, books and tapes and never follow through with action.

Why do we procrastinate? Dennis Waitley wrote, “Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I'll’ philosophy.”

That is one reason, but I think it is also fear of criticism or failure. We put off a task, job, or change because we are not sure how to do it, so we are afraid of doing it poorly. I rarely procrastinate, but when I do, it is usually because I am tackling something new that I might mess up. It can also be when a task isn’t enjoyable. Even though I am a hard worker and not afraid of spending hours working on challenges, I find procrastination sneaking in when I am not having a good time.

That brings me to how we procrastinate. Let me count the ways! Of course, there are always those chores - like laundry, cleaning and gardening - which must be done this moment. Or the many e-newsletters that should be read - even if the information is nothing new. Or the plethora of on-line discussion groups - good information, but I sometimes find myself reading and answering posts that mean very little to me. We all have our ways. And, don’t get me wrong. I do feel that some procrastination is a good thing once in awhile. It gives us time to think.

So, how do the experts feel?

• “Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” - Napoleon Hill
• “Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” - Don Marquis
• “Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day.” - Lord Chesterfield

A little bit heavy:

• “Procrastination is opportunity's assassin.” - Victor Kiam
• and “If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.” - Thomas de Quincey

Because I like to end on a positive note, I will leave you with the words of Gil Stern, “One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow.” Tell me, do you procrastinate? How do you feel about it?

Curious about Options - Do You Have Enough Options? One Is Not Sufficient!

“I always say don't make plans, make options.” - Jennifer Aniston

“We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options.” - David Suzuki

“It's an infinite creative universe to explore so why chase conservative options?” - Yahoo Serious

In the last few days I listened to an interview of Carol Frank, author of the book, Do As I Say, Not As I Did! Gaining Wisdom In Business Through The Mistakes Of Highly Successful People. One of the statements she made - and that is repeated in the book - was, “Options are not optional.” She had relied on one company to supply her bird cages and when that company couldn’t come through, she didn’t have options available.

What a great statement and so true in so many ways. I would say that having a top value of flexibility as one of the most important reasons for me to have a “Portfolio Career” (a variety of careers at the same time) is that I have options. When one career starts to lose its desirability, I can give it up because I have other career options. Or, when one lags and/or falls short of income production, I still have the options of stepping up the others.

Joy Page wrote, “Information can bring you choices and choices bring power - educate yourself about your options and choices. Never remain in the dark of ignorance.”

In addition, Wayne Dyer said, “Each person must decide for himself what he wants each day. As a leader, I will expose you to the options and the likely consequences of those options. I'll even share my opinion if asked, but I'll never confuse it with the opinion, which simply doesn't exist.”

I believe, whether it has to do with business or life, itself, we must take the “blinders” off and realize that we do have choices and options - we just must “decide” what we want, and then commit to it. When Frank’s company was being sued and she feared bankruptcy, she made the choice to keep on fighting through it. She found this to be true of the successful people she interviewed for her book. So many give up the minute they experience a challenging setback.

Other quotations that deal with this are:

• “If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.” - Lance Armstrong
• “There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or you're OUT. There's no such thing as life in-between.” - Pat Riley
• “We must dare to think 'unthinkable' thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world.” - James W. Fulbright

You see, I feel strongly that we all do have options in every area of our lives - we just have to define and choose them. Each of us has the power of choice when we face setbacks and/or positive perks. It is all in the way we approach them.

Some other thought-provoking quotations I will leave you with include:

• “In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults.” - Thomas Szasz
• “There's not a single business model, and there's not a single type of electronic content. There are really a lot of opportunities and a lot of options and we just have to discover all of them.” - Tim O'Reilly
• “Money is only a vehicle that provides you with options, and I say there's only one thing that money can't buy - poverty.” - Jerry Doyle

In every situation, good or bad, I suggest you make a list of the options available to you - let yourself go. You will be amazed. Yes, we all have enough options - or should have - when we choose to!

Curious about Group Dynamics - How Do They Work for the Groups to Which You Belong?

“I'm going back to the small folk clubs. I haven't outgrown them yet. For me this is like a little sneak preview of what the possibilities are, what the problems are, what people ask of you, what happens within the dynamics of your group.” - Shawn Colvin

“The greater the loyalty of a group toward the group, the greater is the motivation among the members to achieve the goals of the group, and the greater the probability that the group will achieve its goals.” - Rensis Likert

First of all, I want you to know that I am a “group” person. Yes, when I am working on my own, I am disciplined and motivated. But, when part of a group, I have even more energy, experience more enjoyment and the time just flies by! I have always enjoyed group fitness classes - both taking and teaching - more than working out on the machines or at home alone.

I am also a joiner of organizational groups where I tend to volunteer to become more involved than just being a member. The Internet has added to my group involvement by offering discussion groups and lists with members from all over the world. So, as you can tell, I love groups.

When considering, however, the dynamics of different groups, I have noticed many idiosyncrasies. Groups tend to develop definite personalities - some friendly, welcoming and interactive, while others can be tight-lipped, critical and extremely rule oriented. Even though Toastmasters International is an incredible organization, when I was active, I was struck by how different the personalities of the many clubs were. I always urge those thinking of joining a club to visit many until they find the one where they feel the most comfortable.

Some other important thoughts about groups:

• “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead
• “If somebody comes to a neighborhood coffee hour, or goes to a discussion group, and they have a discussion, I do think that people really walk away with a real understanding of the issues.” - Mike Lowry
• “Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.” - Vince Lombardi

I find the group dynamics of discussion groups and lists on the Internet to be very similar to the group dynamics of live in person-to-in person groups. There are those members who are almost invisible - lurkers. They seldom make posts, but we know they are there. Then there are those who post five to fifteen times a day - where do they get the time? There are some who are downright rude and others who are a delight.

My overall feeling about groups is that as long as there are enough people who want the group to succeed, it does. When there are disagreements and criticism they are handled and usually forgotten. And, if I don’t feel good about a group or that I don’t have a lot to contribute positively, I drop out. There are plenty of others to join.

A few more thoughts for you to chew on:

• “In restaurants, you never have enough money, you're taking a very diverse group of people and building them into a team with a common purpose.” - John Hickenlooper
• “My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.” - Indira Gandhi
• “Art and money are closely related. Try sitting down with a group of artists and ask them what's on their mind. Very quickly the topic shifts to money. And it can be very hard to get them off that subject.” - Dave Winer
• “A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.” - Fred A. Allen

Tell me, are you a group person? And, how do you feel about group dynamics?

Curious about Rules: Which Ones Do You Follow, Break or Question?

“Integrity has no need of rules.” - Albert Camus
“I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.” - Bill Veeck
“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.” - Katharine Hepburn

Several weeks ago, while searching for a book in my case for “special books waiting to be read,” I found The Rules of Business >> Timeless Truths from the Best Minds in Business: 55 Essential Ideas to Help Smart People (and Organizations) Perform at Their Best. This small-sized volume by Fast Company’s Editors and Writers is loaded with more than 400 big-sized “insights, imperatives, and hypotheses.”

As shared in the book’s Introduction, “Are there ‘rules’ that absolutely guarantee business and career success? Of course not. Life is not formulaic, and neither is business - which is what makes it so endlessly challenging and fascinating for us. There is no guarantee. We’re expecting, though, that this book will sure increase your chances.”

I haven’t been able to put the book down, and yet, I am taking lots of time to read each section - the book is divided into 22 themes - and digest the wisdom shared by so many great minds. The themes include many of the themes I have picked for this blog and my eclectic bi-weekly e-newsletter, Portfolio Potpourri. You’ll find “Change, Communication, Knowledge, Risk, The Link Between Success and Failure, and The Future” - to name a few.

“Rule #1 - The first rule of business is the same as the first rule of life: Adapt or die.”

Sample quotation: “If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.” - Dame Anita Roddick, founder, The Body Shop

Besides making you aware of this excellent material, I also decided that it would be a great time to investigate how others feel about “rules.”

As you might imagine, when I looked for quotations at www.brainyquote.com, there were as many as there had been for “Truth” and some were quite critical of rules and the idea of rules. I picked the ones to share with you that either tickled me or made me think. So, here we go!

Questioning the idea of rules:

• “There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances.” - Leon Trotsky
• “Famous people feel that they must perpetually be on the crest of the wave, not realizing that it is against all the rules of life. You can't be on top all the time, it isn't natural.” - Olivia De Havilland
• “Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.” - Bill Cosby

What is better than or different from the rules:

• "Although none of the rules for becoming more alive is valid, it is healthy to keep on formulating them.” - Susan Sontag
• “The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.” - George Bernard Shaw
• “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt
• “Habits are safer than rules; you don't have to watch them. And you don't have to keep them either. They keep you.” - Frank Crane
• “Live one day at a time emphasizing ethics rather than rules.” - Wayne Dyer

Yes, there are and should be rules:

• “However, you do need rules. Driving on the left (or the right or, in parts of Europe, on the left and the right as the mood takes you) is a rule which works, since following it means you're more likely to reach your intended rather than your final destination.” - Terry Prachett
• “One of my rules is never explain. A writer is a lot like a magician, if you explain how the trick works then a lot of the magic turns mundane.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
• “All action is for the sake of some end; and rules of action, it seems natural to suppose, must take their whole character and color from the end to which they are subservient.” - John Stuart Mill
• “The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
• “Abstract rules, which establish in advance what we may expect of one another, make cooperation possible on a wide scale.” - Tom G. Palmer

As always, I will leave you with a couple of quotations that especially appeal to me and that you can chew on this coming week.

“There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” - W. Somerset Maugham
“The rules are simple. Take your work, but never yourself, seriously. Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out.” - Chuck Jones

Curious about Truth - How Do We Find, Handle and Accept It?

Today in the e-zine, Early to Rise (ETR), Robert Ringer wrote, “A good definition of inference is ‘the act of deriving conclusions from premises known or assumed to be true.’ There is, of course, a big difference between knowing something to be true and assuming it to be true... The serious seeker of truth always looks to his own experience first, to reason (inference) second, and to authoritative sources third. Though experience is clearly the most reliable method of verifying facts, life is filled with illusions. Which means that even our firsthand experiences can be deceiving.”

Because I found his discussion so fascinating, I first thought I would write about “inference.” Then I chose “assumption” only to find that I had already written a blog about it. Why not tackle the most important of the words and the concept - truth?

When I looked up “truth” quotations I found more than three or four times as many as other word quotations. It was tough going to pick the few I will include in this article. But, before we get to the quotes, let’s look at truth.

If you ask most people and even ourselves for top values, the word “honesty” and “telling the truth” would be mentioned often. In a taped teleseminar to which I listened recently and surprisingly enough featured Robert Ringer, the subject of “truth” was discussed. Ringer made the statement (I am paraphrasing) that even though we all feel that we are honest, each of us lies every single day. Think about it. We tell what we call “white lies” to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, to cover up a small and unimportant deed, or to make an excuse for an unfulfilled promise.

We are late for a meeting or appointment, are surprised by the obvious amount of weight gained by a friend since we saw him last, or don’t want to attend some company networking event.

Quotations that fit right in here with the above include:

• “As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.” - Josh Billings
• “An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.” - Aldous Huxley
• “There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains, the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.” - Bette Davis
• “The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.” - Edith Sitwell
• “Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it." - Emily Dickinson
• “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” - Winston Churchill

Are the above quotations true?

Let’s examine the positive side of the “truth”

• “Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare the truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare.” - Voltaire
• “You never find yourself until you face the truth.” - Pearl Bailey
• “The object of the superior man is truth.” - Confucius
• “If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” - Virginia Woolf
• “Wisdom is found only in truth.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
• “I believe in the fundamental truth of all great religions of the world.” - Mohandas Gandhi
• “Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always.” - Albert Schweitzer

So, how do you feel about truth and the truth?

I will leave you with four more quotations to consider this coming week:

• “Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “I want a language that speaks the truth.” - Studs Terkel
• “Exaggeration is truth that has lost its temper.” - Kahlil Gibran
• “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” - Buddha

I would love to hear your feelings and use of the truth in your life!