Curious about Repetition: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

“Habits are formed by the repetition of particular acts. They are strengthened by an increase in the number of repeated acts. Habits are also weakened or broken, and contrary habits are formed by the repetition of contrary acts.” - Mortimer Adler, philosopher

“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” - Napoleon Hill, writer

Way back in 1988 I became involved with selling a pricey goal setting program. When I purchased my copy, I learned the value of “spaced repetition.” (Note: “Spaced repetition is the key to permanent internalization of ideas. Just as you didn't learn the ABCs the first time you heard them, it takes time and repetition for the mind to accept and embrace any new idea or concept.”)

I followed the directions, listened to the tapes for each lesson, twice a day for seven days. Even though I didn’t continue selling the program for more than two years, I can honestly attest to the fact that listening to those tapes changed my life. I am still listening to tapes, CDs, and MP3s of teleseminars, etc.

Yes, I am a strong proponent of the power of repetition. We just have to make sure that we are repeating the “good stuff” and not the “bad stuff.” I have discovered that bad habits seem to take more time and repetition to break than good habits take to develop. We do have to get rid of the bad habits, however, to make room for the good ones.

Let’s look at how the experts feel about useful and good repetition:

• “We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.” - Jane Fonda, actress
• “Constant repetition carries conviction.” - Robert Collier, publisher
• “Repetition makes reputation and reputation makes customers.” - Elizabeth Arden, businessperson
• “It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” - Muhammad Ali, athlete
• “Repetition is based on body rhythms, so we identify with the heartbeat, or with walking, or with breathing.” - Karlheinz Stockhausen, composer

The other side: those who dislike repetition for various reasons:

• “But better die than live mechanically a life that is a repetition of repetitions.” - David Herbert Lawrence, musician
• “I hate repetition and I love challenges, and that is why I've jumped from newspapers to magazines to books to television to radio to public speaking.” - Dick Schaap, journalist
• “There are all sorts of reasons why I don't do much work in the theatre, the main one being that after two performances I feel I've given all I can. I hate repetition, I really do. It's like asking a painter to paint he same picture every day of his life.” - Peter Cushing, actor
• “I have to feel that each thing I've learned I can push to another point next time. I'm not very good with repetition. I would rather not work than feel that repetition is the order of the day.” - Twyla Tharp, dancer

Repetition with a twist:

• “Happiness is the longing for repetition.” - Milan Kundera, writer
• “Constant repetition of tongue-twisters was like lifting weights for me, but patience and persistence have paid off.” - Nicholas Brendon, actor
• “The power of ads rests more in the repetition of obvious exhortations than in the subtle transmission of values.” - Michael Schudson, sociologist
• “In the old days, physicists used to repeat each other's experiments, just to be sure. Now they repeat each other's mistakes, fully automated repetition!” - Edsger Dijkstra, scientist

How do you use repetition? Is it working for or against you? Have you broken a bad habit and then have back later to start it up - I see this often with those who have lost weight. What do you repeat that makes you happy and does enhance your life and personal development?

And, for you to think about this coming week:

“The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.” - Ernest Dimnet, clergyman

“You affect your subconscious mind by verbal repetition.” - W. Clement Stone, businessman

Curious about Toleration: What Are You Tolerating? Is It Serving You? What Can’t or Won’t You Tolerate?

“Toleration is good for all, or it is good for none.” - Edmund Burke

“Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind; it requires the same effort of the brain that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.” - Helen Keller

I am involved in an excellent and enlightening program called the “Happy, Healthy and Wealthy Game.” During one of our earlier conference calls, one of our coaches talked about “tolerations” and how we should examine them and, in most cases, give them up. I asked him to explain what he meant and he gave an example of over-indulgence. If we are overeating, we do know that it is not healthy or good for our physical being, but we continue to tolerate this behavior of ours.

Not often hearing this word in the world of self-help, I became curious about how others understand and approach it. I feel that this blog will give you a different idea about toleration and tolerating - at least, researching it has accomplished that for me.

Let’s begin with a definition of tolerate: “To suffer to be, or to be done, without prohibition or hindrance; to allow or permit negatively, by not preventing; not to restrain; to put up with; as, to tolerate doubtful practices.” And, toleration is defined as: “The act of tolerating; the allowance of that which is not wholly approved. Hence, freedom from bigotry and severity in judgment of the opinions or belief of others, especially in respect to religious matters.”

In my quest for what the experts think and say, I found many interesting quotations:

• “Toleration is the best religion.” - Victor Hugo
• “Human beings tolerate what they understand they have to tolerate.” - Jane Rule
• “How many inner resources one needs to tolerate a life of leisure without fatigue.” - Natalie Clifford Barney
• “I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.” - Kahlil Gibran

There were quite a few who stated what they couldn’t tolerate. Do any of these apply to you?

• “No, I don't tolerate pressure from anyone about anything.” - Ashley Judd
• “I don't tolerate negativity in my life. I don't tolerate whiners. I can't be around people that are dumping. The issues of boundaries are so important, so that you don't let invasive or negative people into your life.” - Judy Collins
• “If I went to them all dressed up and flashed a nice smile for the cameras it would probably be easier for me to get work. But I just can't tolerate it.” - Charlie Hunnam
• “I don't tolerate any kind of dishonesty. I bring a lot to the table with my relationships, so I really expect the same.” - David Schwimmer
• “I tolerate my faults but not at all other people's.” - Camille Claudel

Then, a bit of a different twist:

• “The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.” - Henri Nouwen
• “Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity.” - Sigmund Freud
• “All imperfection is easier to tolerate if served up in small doses.” - Wislawa Szymborska
• “The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.” - Douglas Engelbart
• “The psychic task which a person can and must set for himself is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.” - Erich Fromm

Here are a couple more to consider during the week:

• “I know that sounds selfish, but you have to look at what it's doing to you personally - are you frustrated because of the way people perceive you, or are you happy enough about the things you've realized about yourself that you can tolerate the way people perceive you?” - Shannon Hoon
• “I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” - Robert A. Heinlein

To summarize, I feel that Shannon Hoon is expressing what my coach was proposing. If you have tolerations that you are not happy about, work on getting rid of them.

So, I ask you, what are you tolerating? Is it serving you or hurting you? As Robert Heinlein states, We are all “morally responsible for everything” we do.

Curious about Arrogance: What Is It? Who Has It? What’s Its Effect?

I don’t know about you, but I do know that I am often attracted by people - and men, in particular - who possess a level of arrogance. Recently, I read an article by Robert Ringer about arrogance and how it is often a quality of those who exhibit control and authority - and not always in a good way.

My questions to you are: what is arrogance, who has it and what is its effect? These thoughts are interesting and a bit baffling.

The following are general beliefs about arrogance and its role:

• “As an artist you have to have a certain amount of arrogance.” - Kim Weston
• “Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance.” - Sun Tzu
• “A generation of arrogance. We didn't trust anyone over 30. We believed we could fix all the prejudices and irrationality of the past.” - Alastair Wood
• “Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow.” - William Pollard
• “Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.” - Frank Lloyd Wright
• “I'm Billy the Kid, the fastest draw. It's not arrogance. It's the truth.” - David Geffen

More thoughts on arrogance with a different twist:

• “I see myself capable of arrogance and brutality... That's a fierce thing, to discover within yourself that which you despise the most in others.” - George Stevens
• “I do not see myself as an example to anybody for anything. I think that is arrogance at its best. That is obnoxious; that is so offensive.” - Susan Powter
• “Sometimes a neighbor whom we have disliked a lifetime for his arrogance and conceit lets fall a single commonplace remark that shows us another side, another man, really; a man uncertain, and puzzled, and in the dark like ourselves.” - Willa Cather
• “We were young and had the arrogance of youth, nevertheless when you look at the issues we fought over, I think by and large we were right.” - Ken Follet
• “The budget should be balanced. Public debt should be reduced. The arrogance of officialdom should be tempered, and assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 - 43 B.C.)
• “There's a certain arrogance to an actor who will look at a script and feel like, because the words are simple, maybe they can paraphrase it and make it better.” - Mary Steenburgen
• “With the arrogance of youth, I determined to do no less than to transform the world with Beauty. If I have succeeded in some small way, if only in one small corner of the world, amongst the men and women I love, then I shall count myself blessed, and blessed, and blessed, and the work goes on.” - William Morris

So many different feelings about the good, the bad and the ugly of the qualities accompanying arrogance. What do you think and feel about it? Here are a few more for you to consider this week:

• “Honest discussions - even and perhaps especially on topics about which we disagree - can help us resist hypocrisy and arrogance. They can also help us live up to the basic ideals, such as liberty and justice for all, on which our country was founded.” - David E. Price
• “The arrogance of the artist is a very profound thing, and it fortifies you.” - James A. Michener
• “Arrogance on the part of the meritorious is even more offensive to us than the arrogance of those without merit: for merit itself is offensive.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
• “We work real hard not to get an attitude of arrogance or haughtiness, which you see in this business all the time.” - Tom Hicks

Trevor Nunn stated, “If you're a director, your entire livelihood and your entire creativity is based on your self-confidence. Sometimes that's dangerously close to arrogance.” I submit to you that he could be talking about a plethora of careers.

What do you conclude from the many quotations? Is having arrogance a bad way to be? I would love to hear from you.

Curious about Credibility: How Important Is It? How Easy Is It to Lose? How Much Do You Have?

“For every credibility gap there is a gullibility gap.” - Richard Cobden

“I want a fingerprint of my own and I want credibility, and that's all I want. I just want some substance to my existence.” - Lisa Marie Presley

Yes, I am curious to know how important credibility is to you. Once someone, or a business, loses its credibility, how hard is it to regain it? And, finally, do you have credibility?

I am not going to get into politics here, but I do realize that, because of politics, and what the media grabs onto (you will find several quotations about the media in the following copy), many readers, listeners, and lookers have lost faith in the credibility of politicians, clergy, corporations, and the media itself.

In my “Portfolio Career” of many different careers, I am focused upon creating and keeping the professional credibility of someone who can handle all my careers.

I often ask myself what makes someone and/or a business lose its credibility for me? Some reasons include:

• Catching them in a falsehood or doing something that lacks integrity (unfortunately, the Internet offers lots of examples).
• Even though they profess to “care about the customer” their customer service is lousy.
• A program, teleseminar, and/or e-book is poorly done and does not live up to its stated benefits and/or features.
• Their e-mails and website content are filled with typos and poor grammar (a few common mistakes are expected, I feel, but a huge number raise a red flag).
• They don’t have a website or a blog. Or, if they do, it is poorly presented (this, I know, is one of my biases, because I do website development and design and can’t imagine being without).

What makes someone and/or a business lose its credibility for you?

Let’s hear about credibility from the experts:

• “All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
• “You cannot lie ever, because a lie destroys the credibility of the product, and credibility is more important than anything. Credibility's even more important than clarity.” - Frank Luntz
• “If I were less than honest as a critic, I think people would spot that right away, and it would destroy my credibility.” - Leonard Maltin

Here are some of the many quotations that refer to the media:

• “I do think the standards of the media have dropped to an all-time low in terms of credibility.” -Vince McMahon
• “It's hard to know now who, if anyone, in the media has any credibility.” - Howard Fineman
• “They don't want the public to question their credibility as an investigative news source.” - Joey Skaggs
• “The Times' new credibility committee report that was issued on Monday very specifically said they will be putting in a policy that reporters must get permission from their department heads to appear on television, which I think is a really good thing.” - Daniel Okrent
• “They don't mind being flattered or pandered or coddled or stroked but they can't stand to be duped because it goes directly to their credibility which is most precious to a journalist.” - Roger Mudd

Some with a different twist:

• “In Latin America, when a book is published, publicity plays a minor role. Fighting censorship gives credibility to the writer.” - Manuel Puig
• “Constantly there's a credibility issue; you're judged on how you look. If you look good, people assume you aren't credible. It's a battle you'll always fight if you're on TV and a female.” - Lisa Guerrero
• “When I began my humanitarian work, I understood that in order to gain credibility I needed patience, commitment and unwavering perseverance. I needed to ignore the skeptics.” - Bianca Jagger
• “In America today, if your sensibilities are offended by something that has happened, you get an enormous amount of credibility and are taken very seriously.” - Brit Hume

And, a couple more for consideration this coming week:

“You don't want your credibility banana to turn brown, but you do want to speak out about what you believe in.” - Bradley Whitford

“I don't care about motivation. I care about credibility.” - Eliot Spitzer

And, do consider how credible you and/or your business are!