Curious about Frustration: What Frustrates You? How Do You Deal with It? What Good Results from It?

“Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.” - Bo Bennett. American businessman

“I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.” - Tony Robbins, American author

You are probably asking why I would choose a word with some negative connotations for the theme of this week’s blog. I have just experienced a frustrating week and knew that writing about it would alleviate the frustration. And, after reading the two opening quotations, I already felt 100% better.

I should have known better, but before and while I was installing the new Vista Operating System on my computer, I ran numerous compatibility checks. The reports that I received told me about a couple of possible problems and one piece of hardware to remove, but nothing sounded disastrous.

If you don’t know me well already, I am what is called a “geekette” and someone else mentioned that in the computer world I would also be known as an “early adopter.” When I started the installation, I was remembering the ease of installing XP Pro when it first appeared. Only one piece of equipment wouldn’t work with it - even though it was new and advertised that it was compatible.

But, the week turned into pure frustration as I had to remedy some of the odd habits my new system was stumbling over, two programs had to be reinstalled, and three programs had to be replaced with upgrades (which are on the way). There may be other challenges that I haven’t yet encountered. Even so, I do think that I am going to enjoy using Vista. But, I am waiting for a couple of weeks before I install the 2007 Office.

In addition, you will discover as I have, that frustration builds character, strength, and success:

• “Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.” - Sumner Redstone, American businessman
• “All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail. That is the talisman, the formula, the command of right about face which turns us from failure to success.” - Dorthea Brande, American writer
• “In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word ‘frustration’". - Alan Perlis, American scientist
• “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” - Kurt Vonnegut, American author

Then, there are those whose view of frustration is quite different and varied:

• “I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream.” - Temple Grandin, American educator
• “When too many Americans don't vote or participate, some see apathy and despair. I see disappointment and even outrage. And I believe that out of this frustration can come hope and action.” - Paul Wellstone, American politician
• “In terms of the frustration of my character, I suppose any teenager has probably gone through that, in terms of telling their parents, I want to do one thing, and their parent says no. I think parents sometimes forget that they were children.” - Parminder Nagra, English actress
• “That was always my frustration with so many of these shows, because design is not an ambush... it's a relationship. You have to know how people move and live and work to be able to design for them.” - Genevieve Gorder, American designer

Here are a couple of ideas to think about during the upcoming week:

• “There's nothing worse than the frustration of having somebody who doesn't get what you're doing trying to turn it into something else. It's a very frustrating thing and I never wanted to go through it.” - George Lucas, American director
• “The torment of human frustration, whatever its immediate cause, is the knowledge that the self is in prison, its vital force and 'mangled mind' leaking away in lonely, wasteful self-conflict.” - Elizabeth Drew, American journalist

Tell me, what frustrates you? I would love to read your comments! Or the story of a frustrating time for you.

Curious about Humor: Do You Use It? How? Do You Agree with Its Importance?

“A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” - Hugh Sidey, American journalist

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.” - Henry Ward Beecher, American clergyman

Recently, one of the subscribers to my bi-weekly e-newsletter, Portfolio Potpourri (an eclectic publication that revolves around a theme), suggested that I use the theme of “Humor” in an upcoming issue.

Therefore, being curious, I decided to start with this blog. It gives me the incentive to look up quotations by the experts and also starts me thinking about it.

Even though I don’t consider myself to be a comedian, I do use humor in my stories, my careers and my life. Just as Bill Cosby said, “You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.”

As many of you know, last year I experienced a freak fall and fractured my hip. Not really a laughing matter, but I found that when I told the story of how it happened in a humorous way, the doctors and everyone else loved it and asked me to tell it often.

Also, I find that, as a presenter, when I succeed at getting listeners to laugh - usually a story about something humorous that happened to me - I establish almost instant rapport with them. This also happens in my group fitness classes. When I get the group laughing, they tend to work harder and enjoy the workout more.

Here are some of the general quotations I found about humor:

• “This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.” - Lin Yutang, Chinese author
• “Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.” - Irvin S. Cobb, American journalist
• “Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.” - Mark Twain, American author
• “Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.” - Christopher Morley, American author
• “Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.” - Leo Rosten, American novelist

Then, there are some other twists, definitions and admonitions:

• “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” - E. B. White, American comedian
• “A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.” - Jessamyn West, American author
• “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” - William James, American philosopher
• “There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.” - Thomas W. Higginson, American clergyman
• “The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.” - Peter De Vries, American novelist
• “Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.” - Victor Borge, American musician

So, do you use humor? Can you laugh at yourself? Do you let yourself go with huge belly laughs. Try it - it is fun!

Here are a couple of thoughts for this coming week:

“If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.” - Jennifer Jones, American actress

“Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.” - Max Eastman, American author

I would love to hear from you!

Curious about Opposites: An Investigation and Discussion Prompted by the Law of Polarity

Definition of Polarity: That quality or condition of a body in virtue of which it exhibits opposite, or contrasted, properties or powers, in opposite, or contrasted, parts or directions; or a condition giving rise to a contrast of properties corresponding to a contrast of positions, as, for example, attraction and repulsion in the opposite parts of a magnet, the dissimilar phenomena corresponding to the different sides of a polarized ray of light, etc.

After watching “The Secret” twice, I have been reading and digesting Bob Proctor’s book, You Were Born Rich. In Chapter 9, “Don’t Think In Reverse,” Proctor discusses “The Law of Polarity, or as it is often referred to, The Law of Opposites.

“This law clearly states everything has an opposite. You cannot have an up without a down, hot without cold or in without out. By the same token, if you can figure out why something you want to do cannot be done, by law, you must be able to figure out how it can be done.”

I not only loved and embraced the positive message of the stated law, I also started thinking about “opposites.” As many of you know already, I teach between nine and ten group fitness classes a week. Because of this, I do focus a great deal on strength, endurance and lean muscle mass. Therefore, we work a lot on muscles. And, every muscle group has an opposite muscle and/or muscle group.

For physical balance it is necessary that opposite muscles are developed to possess equal strength. Otherwise, the stronger muscles tend to take over. For example, if you have ever sprained or broken a leg, the other healthy leg bears the brunt of the weakened limb and often becomes swollen or out of balance.

Another example are our triceps (at the back of the upper arms). Most of our daily lifting is accomplished by using our biceps, so the triceps are weaker and looser. The same can happen with our abdominals. When we are performing abdominal crunches with our feet on the floor, our hip flexors - strong muscles - tend to take over. However, if we force ourselves to shift our legs up into the air, our abdominal muscles will be forced to benefit.

Now, that I have vented about exercise, let’s share some of the interesting - and sometimes, shocking - quotations I found about opposites:

• “The excessive increase of anything causes a reaction in the opposite direction.” - Plato, Greek philosopher
• “Light is meaningful only in relation to darkness, and truth presupposes error. It is these mingled opposites which people our life, which make it pungent, intoxicating. We only exist in terms of this conflict, in the zone where black and white clash.” - Louis Aragon, French poet
• “Most people think of success and failure as opposites, but they both are products of the same process.” - Roger von Oech, American writer
• “I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a savant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite.” - Bertrand Russell, British philosopher
• “I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.” - Gilbert K. Chesterton, English writer

Some more questions and thoughts about opposites:

• “We never fully grasp the import of any true statement until we have a clear notion of what the opposite untrue statement would be.” - William James, American philosopher
• “The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.” - Jim Hightower, American activist
• “In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.” - Paul Dirac, British physicist
• “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” - Elie Wiesel, American novelist
• “If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?” - Paul Harvey, American journalist

Interesting quotations, don’t you think? Here are two more for you to chew on this coming week. And, as you know, I would love to read your comments.

“Art is not about thinking something up. It is the opposite - getting something down.” - Julia Cameron, American author

“Stressing output is the key to improving productivity, while looking to increase activity can result in just the opposite.” - Paul Gauguin, French artist

Have a great and productive week!

Curious about Obstacles: How Do You Handle Them? Or Do You Use Them as Excuses?

“Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.” - Niccolo Machiavelli, Italian writer

“Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” - Michael Jordan, American athlete

Recently - even more than usual - I have been focusing on self-improvement and positive attitude. When we start to think about our BIG goals and taking our business (or careers) to a new level, we also confront obstacles.

They may be big or small, but obstacles start showing up. Are they merely excuses for not taking the risks necessary for succeeding? Or do we need to listen to Niccolo Machiavelli and know that there is truly “little difference between obstacle and opportunity.” I also love Michael Jordan’s approach. In the past I wrote the blog about “work arounds” on February 16, 2005. You might want to check it out.

When searching for quotations for this blog, I found many with a positive flavor, so let’s see what the experts have to share:

• “Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It's a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” - Thomas Carlyle, Scottish philosopher
• “Nothing is an obstacle unless you say it is.” Wally Amos, American businessman
• “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” - Booker T. Washington, American educator
• “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” - Henry Ford, American businessman
• “Everyone who achieves success in a great venture, solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They keep going regardless of the obstacles they met.” - W. Clement Stone, American businessman

And, some with a bit of a different twist:

• “Fear is your greatest obstacle - so question your fear. If it does not serve your greatest life then do not make it your master.” - Joy Page, American actress
• “We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” - Maxwell Maltz, American scientist
• “Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture... Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.” - Norman Vincent Peale, American clergyman
• “Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” - Martha Graham, American dancer
• “An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame.” - Bo Bennett, American businessman
• “People let their own hang-ups become the obstacles between them and personal happiness.” - Lucinda Williams, American musician

Here are three to post near our computers - or mirrors - to work on our weekly habits:

• “Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.” - Marsha Sinetar, American writer
• “Being idealistic really helps you overcome some of the many obstacles put in your path.” - Andy Hertzfeld, American inventor
• “Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren't.” - Barbara Sher, American business woman

Have a great week, and be thankful for the obstacles you encounter. They serve to strengthen us in all of our endeavors.