Curious about Presence: What Is It? Do You Have a Successful Presence? And, How Do We Establish One?

Definition of Presence: The place in which one is present; the part of space within one's ken, call, influence, etc. The whole of the personal qualities of an individual; person; personality; especially, the person of a superior, as a sovereign. Port, mien; air; personal appearance.

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” – Epictetus, Greek philosopher

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson, American author

When my daughter and I started attending the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee, we would spend hours discussing why, even though we enjoyed all of the tellers, we were more captivated by certain ones. We came to the conclusion that the outstanding tellers possessed a special presence that shone through the minute they would take to the stage.

As I was considering what theme I would choose for this week’s blog, I realized that our presence can affect the impact we make on others. And, there are many qualities of presence that work together to enhance our memorability and that all time important first impression. All the details work together.

Important is how we speak, how we hold ourselves, how we dress, how we listen, how we move, and especially how confident we are – quite different from being arrogant.

I think you will enjoy the quotations. They help a great deal with defining true presence:

• “We convince by our presence.” – Walt Whitman, American poet
• “You find yourself refreshed in the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” - Lydia M. Child, American activist
• “You've got to work hard for your success and you've got to have a steady presence. That's the secret.” - Kid Rock, American musician
• “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” - Jesse Jackson, American activist
• “Luck is not something you can mention in the presence of self-made men.” - E. B. White, American comedian
• “Meryl Streep does things I would never have thought possible... Her presence on screen is outstanding.” - Leonardo DiCaprio, American actor
• “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.” – Margaret Millar, Canadian writer

And a few more:

• “Presence is more than just being there.” - Malcolm Forbes, American publisher
• “The best effort of a fine person is felt after we have left their presence.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, American poet
• “People also leave presence in a place even when they are no longer there.” – Andy Goldsworthy, British artist
• “It is by presence of mind in untried emergencies that the native metal of man is tested.” - James Russell Lowell, American poet
• “Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly.” - George MacDonald, Scottish novelist
• “Arnold Schwarzenegger, I don't know if you'd call him a great actor, but he's amazing in terms of his presence, and he is interesting enough that you want to watch him.” – F. Murray Abraham, American actor

So, what kind of presence do you have and leave behind you? I suggest asking someone you trust – a good friend or family member – to describe your presence in their estimation. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

Curious about Stress: Most of Us Are Dealing with Stress. How Do We Handle It? and How It Is Affecting Us?

Definition of Stress: Distress. Pressure, strain. To press; to urge; to distress; to put to difficulties. To subject to stress, pressure, or strain.

“Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.” - Natalie Goldberg, American author

“It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” - Hans Selye, Canadian scientist

If you are wondering why I would choose stress for this week’s blog, it results from listening to a fascinating book called Ultra Metabolism by Dr. Mark Hyman. Besides sharing his seven myths of losing weight, he shares that “stress makes you fat, relaxing makes you thin.” How can that be?

And, yes I am guilty of telling my students that the recipe for losing weight is, “Eat less and exercise more.” Hyman shows how wrong I have been. The whole book – 11 CDs – is long and filled with great stories and “why” facts. However, the part that fascinated me the most was Key #2 which follows.

"Key #2: Subdue Stress. The second key is to understand how stress makes you fat and how to overcome its effects. Under any physical or psychological stress, the body is designed to protect itself. It stores calories and conserves weight (you might need that energy reserve to run from a predator). It pumps hormones into your system that increase blood fats, sugar and insulin to prepare you for fight or flight. Without eating more or exercising less, stress alone will cause weight gain."

Thank goodness I have been teaching Yoga classes for more than two years. Perfect way to reduce stress and relax.

I also found a plethora of great “stress” quotations. Here goes:

• In times of life crisis, whether wild fires or smoldering stress, the first thing I do is go back to basics... am I eating right, am I getting enough sleep, am I getting some physical and mental exercise everyday.” - Edward Albert, American actor
• “It seems that we have it backward in our society. We tend to look up to people who are under a great deal of stress, who can handle loads of stress, and those who are under a great deal of pressure.” - Richard Carlson, American author
• “The key to winning is poise under stress.” - Paul Brown, American coach
• “I've chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.” - Martin Short, American actor
• “If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.” - George Burns, American comedian
• “Well, I think probably the main reason people overeat is stress.” - Jenny Craig, Australian celebrity
• “What basically happens is your hormones get out of whack. Because of the stress in your life your body says, 'I need more hormones.' So, your hormones are trying to produce and produce and produce, and it's even more stressful and it is this wicked cycle.” - Marie Osmond, American musician

And three more to chew upon:

• “The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do.” - Wayne Dyer, American psychologist
• “The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence.” - Norman Vincent Peale, American clergyman
• “Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austrian actor

So, what do you think? About stress, losing weight, and the stress of losing weight? I would love to hear from you.

Curious about Virtue(s): Do You Know What Yours Are? Do They Ever Oppose Each Other?

Definition of Virtue: Strength or courage; bravery; daring; spirit; valor. Active quality or power; capacity or power adequate to the production of a given effect; energy; strength; potency; efficacy; as, the virtue of a medicine. Excellence; value; merit; meritoriousness; worth. Specifically, moral excellence; integrity of character; purity of soul; performance of duty.

“Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know.” - Charles Kingsley, English clergyman

Today I was listening to a CD featuring the words and thoughts of Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone. They were speaking of virtue and virtues and that sometimes we are forced into situations where our virtues are challenged as opposites. An example of this in my case is that I pride myself on my honesty and integrity. However, when one of my fitness students who has been working diligently asks me if I notice a difference in his or her physique.

I notice and have noticed that they look a good bit heavier than when they started the classes. How honest should I be? In a kind way I usually suggest that to notice a big difference, exercise is not enough and that they should also work on their eating plan and lifestyle. I also share that even though I teach twelve classes a week, I have realized that I have to be more careful of my food intake as I get older.

In my search for effective quotations, I found a wide variation. There were comparisons between virtues and vices. Courage was mentioned often as the top virtue. And in many instances, virtues carried negative connotations.

Let me share several of all of the above types:

• “The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.” - Elizabeth Taylor, American actress
• “The strangest, most generous, and proudest of all virtues is true courage.” –
  Michel de Montaigne, French philosopher
• “He that is good, will infallibly become better, and he that is bad, will as certainly become worse; for vice, virtue and time are three things that never stand still.” - Charles Caleb Colton, English writer
• “Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own.” - George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist
• “Industry, economy, honesty, and kindness form a quartet of virtues that will never be improved upon.” - James Oliver, British politician
• “It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.” – Abraham Lincoln, American President

And several more for interest:

• “I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.” - George Washington, American President
• “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” – C. S. Lewis, British author
• “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” - Marcus Aurelius, Roman soldier
• “Who sows virtue reaps honor.” - Leonardo da Vinci, Italian artist
• “One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.” - Maya Angelou, American poet
• “As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.” - Albert Einstein, German physicist
• “Virtue is harmony.” – Pythagoras, Greek mathematician

And three more for fun:

• “What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American poet
• “When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.” - Casey Stengel, American athlete
• “Whenever there are great virtues, it's a sure sign something's wrong.” - Bertolt Brecht, German poet

So, what virtues do you have? And how have they served and worked for you? Let me hear from you.

Curious about Joy: Are You Filled with Joy? What Constitutes a Joyful Life for You?

Definition of Joy: The passion or emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good; pleasurable feelings or emotions caused by success, good fortune, and the like, or by a rational prospect of possessing what we love or desire; gladness; exhilaration of spirits; delight. To rejoice; to be glad; to delight; to exult. To gladden; to make joyful; to exhilarate.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Buddha, Indian leader

I have been teaching a senior Yoga stretch class for two years. When I started – and also took the specialized training – I was not a Yogi and hadn’t even taken more than one Yoga class in my years of working out and teaching group fitness. Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I would enjoy teaching it.

Surprisingly for me, I fell in love with every part of it and the wonderful way I feel because of the benefits. And, there are many including improved flexibility; awareness of the body and mind connection; increased strength, suppleness, and stamina; enhancement of balance, posture, agility, grace, and digestion; and improved breathing leading to clarity, stillness of mind, and concentration. Besides the calmness and reduced anxiety, I experience an overwhelming joy while practicing the various postures.

I am basically a joyful person living a joyful life, and that is why I chose joy for this blog’s theme. Happily, I found a plethora of wonderful quotations that should make your day and days to come.

Here are a few:

• “When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery.” - Maxim Gorky, Russian novelist
• “Part of the joy of looking at art is getting in sync in some ways with the decision-making process that the artist used and the record that's embedded in the work.” - Chuck Close, American artist
• “There are some people who have the quality of richness and joy in them and they communicate it to everything they touch. It is first of all a physical quality; then it is a quality of the spirit.” - Tom Wolfe, American journalist
• “The joy of the mind is the measure of its strength.” - Ninon de Lenclos, French celebrity
• “I don't really care how I am remembered as long as I bring happiness and joy to people.” - Eddie Albert, American actor
• “I want to thank all the women who have worn my clothes, the famous and the unknown, who have been so faithful to me and given me so much joy.” - Yves Saint Laurent, French designer

And some more for their uplifting and joyous qualities:

• “When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.” – Tecumseh, American leader
• “True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery, French novelist
• “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” - Marianne Williamson, American author
• “Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German theologian
• “There's a great joy in my giving. It's thrilling. It's exhilarating. It's important to be a part of sharing. It is my love. It is my joy.” - W. Clement Stone, American businessman
• “There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go.” - Jean Paul, German author

This theme really made my day. I do hope it did for you, too. Remember to live with joy. And, do reread the wonderful and uplifting quotations!