Curious about Compassion: How Many of Us Have It? Lessons I Have Learned along the Way.

Definition of Compassion : Literally, suffering with another; a sensation of sorrow excited by the distress or misfortunes of another; commiseration.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion.” - Dalai Lama, Tibetan leader

“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.” – Frederick Buechner, American clergyman

I chose compassion for this week’s theme, because I feel that our levels of compassion during this economic downturn, are being tested continually. Young and old alike are feeling the money crunch. Many are losing jobs, homes, money – and even worse – hope.

There are some of us who so easily slipped into heavy debt and are now suffering the consequences.

Yes, gurus tell us that this is a time of great opportunity. And, yes, those who have wealthy abundance are snapping up properties that are in foreclosure. And, others are even benefitting from the incredible retail sales offered by businesses that are closing and/or struggling.

How is your compassion level on a scale of 1 to 10?

Let me tell you my story of compassion. Being a fitness instructor and a sensible, healthy eater, I have had almost non-existent health challenges over the years – not quite to the level of smugness, but close. Participants in my fitness classes have often asked for advice on their aches, pains, and extra weight. I must admit that, if I watched them under performing in class, I didn’t have a great deal of compassion. Also, when I suggested that they cut back their fat intake, I would even experience disdain when they would say, “But I love to eat. I love food!”

All that until four and a half years ago.

I had a freak fall at the health club where I teach. I didn’t even have any compassion for myself. I got up, taught three classes, did visit the Emergency Room, and felt that I could get rid of the pain on my own. Three weeks passed with me walking with mounting pain and difficulty until I returned to the hospital, was re-x-rayed and found that I had a fractured hip. After surgery, I was not allowed to put any weight on it. No driving, no fitness classes, no usual active schedule.

I learned compassion for everyone who is disabled in any way. Also, for those with chronic pain of any kind. In the grocery store, I would drive around in one of those special carts. Fortunately, I could stand on my left leg and reach the top shelves, but those people who can’t stand, can’t reach them or most of the shelves. Even at the clinic where doors to the rest rooms are wide enough for a wheelchair, they are so heavy, they are impossible to open without help.

As you can imagine, I found a plethora of compassion quotations. Here are a few:

• “Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is a time to honor the greatest champion of racial equality who taught a nation - through compassion and courage - about democracy, nonviolence and racial justice.” - Mark Pryor, American politician
• “The dew of compassion is a tear.” – Lord Byron, British poet
• “The individual is capable of both great compassion and great indifference. He has it within his means to nourish the former and outgrow the latter.” – Norman Cousins, American editor
• “The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.” - Albert Schweitzer, German theologian
• “Yoga is about compassion and generosity towards others. It means being mindful of the world around us.” - Christy Turlington, American model
• “Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.” – Confucius, Chinese philosopher

And a couple more to think about:

“Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.” - Louis Gerstner, American businessman

I feel a lot like the American director, Martin Scorsese who said, “And as I've gotten older, I've had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things.”

How about you?

Curious about Connection: We All Have Many Connections – with Others, with Groups, with Businesses, with Communities, and Now with Social Media

Definition of Connection: The act of connecting, or the state of being connected; junction; union; alliance; relationship. That which connects or joins together; bond; tie. A relation; esp. a person connected with another by marriage rather than by blood; -- used in a loose and indefinite, and sometimes a comprehensive, sense. The persons or things that are connected; as, a business connection.

“Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success.” - Paul Meyer, French writer

Monday, July 13th was my birthday. It started on Sunday. When I checked my profile page, there were all sorts of birthday wishes from my Facebook friends. And, WOW, by Tuesday I had birthday greetings and wishes for close to 300 people. What, you ask, does this have to do with connection?

When I started thinking about what a treat this was, I realized that a year ago I was not on Facebook and not connected to my great group of friends there from all over the world. It has also spurred me on to become involved with Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, and Digg.

However, the more I thought about connection, I decided to make a list of all of the connections I have and have established over the years in many different ways. I urge you to make a “Connection List.” Start with family and close friends. Then, people you work with or for; people you see on a regular basis; neighbors; those from organizations, clubs, and groups to which you belong; those you have met over the Internet; and on and on.

Use this list to decide to re-establish contact with some of the people from your past. Ask yourself which people on your list you would like to get to know better. What new group or organization you would like to join? You get the idea. There is a plethora of areas of connection. Try them and add some new excitement and adventure to your life.

Don’t worry, I found many great and interesting quotations about connection:

• “I always think it's interesting to dig a little bit deeper every time you go to someplace that seems like a revelation or a strong connection to an emotional truth.” - Carly Simon, American musician
• “I think there's some connection between absolute discipline and absolute freedom.” - Alan Rickman, British actor
• “It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” - Leo Buscaglia, American author
• “A leader who loses his connection to his people soon loses the ability to lead them.” - Robert Ley, German soldier
• “Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.” - Yakov Smirnoff, Russian comedian
• “Fishing provides that connection with the whole living world. It gives you the opportunity of being totally immersed, turning back into yourself in a good way. A form of meditation, some form of communion with levels of yourself that are deeper than the ordinary self.” - Ted Hughes, English poet

Two more – both from American singers – to take with you:

“I learned again that the mind-body-spirit connection has to be in balance.” - Wynonna Judd, American musician

“I think people are isolated because of the nature of human consciousness, and they like it when they feel the connection between themselves and someone else.” - James Taylor, American musician

I would love to hear about your “Connection List.”

Curious about Contribution: There Are a Variety of Ways to Contribute. What Kinds of Contributions Do You Make?

“Your sole contribution to the sum of things is yourself.” - Frank Crane, American clergyman

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.” - Tony Robbins, American author

If we consider contribution and contributing without feeling that it always has to be money, we can find all sorts of wonderful contributions. Yes, if we have money to give, that’s great. Yet, I know in these shaky financial times, we can be creative with our contributions in other ways.

I suggest that we all make a list of contributions we can make to enhance the lives of those we come in contact with. Contribute the following: a smile and a kind word to everyone we meet; clothing that is in fine shape, but doesn’t fit or suit us anymore; the same for toys, books, puzzles, and games; compliments and applause for good works; and the most valuable contribution of all – our time.

Take time to visit a friend you haven’t seen for awhile. Or, even someone who has been bedridden. Bring a bouquet of wild flowers. How about helping someone who is having a real challenge with his or her computer?

Let me share a few of the quotations that offered a huge variety of contributions:

• “You look out there and there's people that, their day is changed because of your contribution to it.” - Brad Paisley, American musician
• “Players should know that if you can't make the contribution of the winning shot, that your attitude every day when you come to practice, or the positive contribution you make through cheering and keeping up team morale, is just as important in the overall picture.” - Sue Wicks, American athlete
• “I've tried to handle winning well, so that maybe we'll win again, but I've also tried to handle failure well. If those serve as good examples for teachers and kids, then I hope that would be a contribution I have made to sport. Not just basketball, but to sport.” - Mike Krzyzewski, American athlete
• “Anyone who acquires more than the usual amount of knowledge concerning a subject is bound to leave it as his contribution to the knowledge of the world.” - Liberty Hyde Bailey, American scientist.
• “I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.” - Paul Lynde, American comedian
• “I feel that my whole life is a contribution.” - Pete Seeger, American musician

WOW! How wonderful to feel that one’s whole life is a contribution. Do let me know what you think and do with contributions. And also what you plan to do.

Curious about Certainty: What Role Does Certainty Play in Your Life, Direction, and Career? Or Can We Ever Have Certainty?

Definition of Certainty: The quality, state, or condition, of being certain. A fact or truth unquestionably established. Clearness; freedom from ambiguity; lucidity.

“In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.” - Pliny the Elder, Roman author

“I never imagined it wouldn't work out for me. I had that absolute certainty in myself that has seen me through, I think, and my parents were absolutely behind me all the way.” - Ewan McGregor, Scottish actor

I decided to pick certainty for this week’s theme after hearing Annie Jennings, topnotch publicist, mention the importance of certainty. When a media specialist – radio, TV, publications, the Internet – wants to interview an authority, he or she wants to have the certainty that the interviewee will be smooth, sharp, informative, and highly credible.

Even though I lean toward Pliny’s belief that “nothing is certain,” I do have enough certainty about individual authors who have never failed to delight me. It is the same with actors, storytellers, artists, designers and many other talented stars. The same has happened for me on the Internet.

There are marketers, bloggers, programmers, writers and speakers that I am certain will be worth pursuing. I even have a seminar/conference/webinar list of those who hold certainty of excellence for me. I read their e-mails, listen to their MP3s, and take part in their teleseminars.

The other side of this week’s theme holds a huge variety of thoughts and beliefs about certainty. Here goes:

• “To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting.” - Stanislaus I, Polish Royalty
• “To counter the avoidance of intellectual challenge and responsibility, we must reduce the domination of certainty in education.” - William Glasser, American psychologist
• “The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man, but is nevertheless an intellectual vice.” - Bertrand Russell, British philosopher
• “The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.” - Erich Fromm, American psychologist
• “I feel, sometimes, as the renaissance man must have felt in finding new riches at every point and in the certainty that unexplored areas of knowledge and experience await at every turn.” - Polykarp Kusch, German scientist
• “Benjamin Franklin said there were only two things certain in life: death and taxes. But I'd like to add a third certainty: trash. And while some in this room might want to discuss reducing taxes, I want to talk about reducing trash.” - Ruth Ann Minner, American politician

Three more that will keep us thinking:

• “It is far better to foresee even without certainty than not to foresee at all.” - Henri Poincare, French mathematician
• “I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.” - Michael Crichton, American director
• “If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” - William Lyon Phelps, American educator

"So, what are you certain about? I submit to you that it is OK to certain at times, but not so certain that others avoid you with certainty.